In the series “Leadership Lessons from Lyrics,” this is week three comparing Tswift lyrics and the ever-shifting world of educational leadership…or at least, in the ways I’ve experienced it.
Today’s lyric resonates personally, painfully, but also highlights the rewards of leading. These lyrics suggest a journey of self-discovery and resilience that are more relatable than you might think. The gem of greatness that is “You’re on Your Own, Kid” ends with the following:
‘Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burnedEverything you lose is a step you takeSo make the friendship braceletsTake the moment and taste itYou’ve got no reason to be afraidYou’re on your own, kidYeah, you can face thisYou’re on your own, kidYou always have been
Change is hard, even good change.
Pages turned, with bridges burned. I often marvel (spiral?) at how I spent almost 6 years with 75+ staff members…and almost all of them are people I will never talk to or see again. Isn’t that a crazy thought? When making a change, especially as dramatic of one as I did when I left in 2020, relationships naturally evolve. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, the regular interactions we once held so tightly can trickle down to a stop, leading paths to diverge. This isn’t a reflection of failure or a reason for regret but a part of the natural ebb and flow of professional relationships. (Amber, reread that sentence as often as you need to.) As we grow and change, so do our connections with others. Recognizing and accepting these changes with grace is essential for personal growth but also allows us to cherish the times of close relationships and learn from each phase of our relationships. Those relationships are the pages turned.
Everything you lose is a step you take.
Every loss or shift away from the familiar is a step forward in our professional growth. From classroom to coach to assistant principal or whatever the next rung up the ladder might be…relationships change. I often say that as principal my jokes were always funny and my outfits were always cute. Your position, once you’ve started to advance, will always precede your person.
Sacrificing the ability to be off the cuff or to speak without thinking is one of the things you lose as you take those steps “up”. One of my favorite Todd Whitaker conversations was about transparent leadership, and how even if people think they want to know everything, there’s a reason they don’t.
So make the friendship bracelets, take the moment and taste it.
Enjoy where you are, because someday you’ll look back and think…man, that went by fast. Leaders embrace building and nurturing relationships. Through the decades we do this, the bonds we create, the memories we make, with our campuses, our students, and their families, are the bright and shiny friendship bracelets we hold onto. Whether it be from a Facebook memory, or a framed picture that hangs on your wall, those “beads” serve as the memories of the special moments you’d had together. These connections are not just professional necessities but are the actual reason this hard work is so worth it. Reminders of the path we’ve taken to get there. Each time I reshare or click “Love” in appreciation of a memory shared, I mentally have to shake off the “Gosh, can’t she just move on?” guilt I mentally assign the action…but that’s just me, taking the moment.
You’ve got no reason to be afraid, you’re on your own, kid.
While educational leaders work closely with others, there are moments when even the most collaborative can feel isolated and alone. I wonder, though, if our lived experiences shape our perspectives in such a way that, fundamentally, we are always on our own as individuals. A coworker and I had this conversation this week about athletes and records being “broken”, and the caveat of the “yeah, but back in my day…” that usually follows that celebration.
I can’t relate to principals now, I haven’t led a campus dealing with the budget shortfalls or teacher shortage that’s happening right now. Every campus is different, has its history, and has its own “white fences”. Advice shared or given, ultimately, can be met with “but you don’t know my people.” Hopefully, these lyrics remind us that even when the journey feels solitary, our inner strength and capabilities are enough to meet these challenges. That’s why you are where you are…because YOU can handle it.
Leadership is not just about guiding others but also about continuously evolving as individuals. Each challenge we face, and each decision we make, shapes us into more capable and understanding leaders. Remember, every bridge burned and every page turned invites fresh opportunities to write our own stories. Be confident that while the journey may often be solo and feel even solo-er, it is uniquely yours—a tribute to your ability to adapt and thrive.
Keep moving forward friends, with courage, for in leadership like in life, we learn from the journey than we do the destination.
Humming along &
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