During a conversation with a new colleague recently, she expressed surprise at the fact that I have two daughters, not just one curly headed one. I heart social media, especially when it lets me share my sweet baby girl with my friends and family.
I am very cautious, however, about sharing my big girl. She almost a teen and I try to be very cognizant of her digital footprint. I don’t want her to be attached to the social stream of who I have defined her to be. I want her to be her own person, with her own likes, dislikes, pins, etc. I never use her real name on the internet. She is known by what I’ve called since she was 2 and toddled around carrying a sack of potatoes. She’s my “beast”. (Obviously, she’s gorgeous, else that would just be uncomfortable!)
I’m also aware of the fact that there are going to be times in the future when she is not holding my hand when she walks across the parking lot. I don’t need “strangers” being able to initiate conversations with her based on details I’ve provided. (The baby is always with an adult, less opportunity for that with her!)
She is very limited in what she is allowed to be involved with on the Internet. It is a constant discussion in our household in what I think she should have an account with or have zero access too. From what I have seen & learned though, is that my opinion does not match what other parents may be thinking or doing.
Scrolling through her “friends” accounts shows me how uninvolved some parents may be in their children’s social media world.
It’s not enough that I can teach MY child how to be appropriate…I also have to monitor what other people are posting & sharing. While I initially took advantage of the teachable moment when something came across, I ended up having her delete her account. There is a cognitive level of maturity that needs to occur both with her and her circle of friends before we’re going let her dive into that social media stream. Controversial? Probably, given my stance on all things SM, but unless my PLN wants to help me have some of the super awkward conversations that were caused by things that we came across…we’re going stick with harsher parameters for now.
Mom to 2,
Amber
I totally agree with you, but know you are in the minority. As a district we are struggling with parents who want us to monitor their children’s Internet access but when you ask “Do you ask their friends parents about their filter?” They look at me like I’m the one who is crazy.
Great post, as always!! Agreed for sure!
We have similar convos in our house. I’m finding my stances are hard for my oldest to sustain. We follow the rules. If you can’t have an account unless you’re 13, he doesn’t get one. It makes for tough convos w other parents but necessary. We also read his texts and talk to parents (and boys) about the things we see there. Again, more interesting convos. It’s hard to stand strong but necessary to teach him how to build his digital footprint.
Hi, I think to some extend we need to allow our kids to share their life online and with others. I am using huglr for my family to do this. And it’s been working well so far.