my version of transparent, collaborative leadership...with a Teamann twist

“13 reasons why” I’m ok being a helicopter momma! #cpchat #leadupchat #momsasprincipals

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My beast is a freshman in high school. High school (if you haven’t had the pleasure of experiencing YOUR child in high school yet, just you wait), is a whole. new. ball. game. She is fiercely independent (which she comes by naturally), but is unable to grasp that I am still the conduit to all the things in her life. She doesn’t yet know all that she doesn’t know. Part of the growth process, I am sure. Each grade level, each stage of this educational ladder that she climbs up, is designed to take her one rung closer to independence, to college, to real life… right?

The problem is, there isn’t a “how to be a grown up” class. There are opportunities for her to learn from missteps. (But it sure helps when someone points them out to her!) There are opportunities to reflect and correct. (But it sure helps if she has someone who models that!) There are opportunities to learn about time management when you’re juggling sports, clubs, friends, and oh, and an all Pre- AP and AP course load. (But it sure helps when you have parent privy to all those calendars providing reminders and nudges.) This is a path I am walking with her. I don’t care that the police club sponsor awarded her with the “Most Likely to Have a Helicopter Momma” award at her police club banquet (side eye at officer Stewart). I am involved in her world. I am her chauffeur and her bank account. I am the questioner and the friend picker upper. This is what I do.

 

 

The beast has zero forms of social media. (Caveat: no allowed accounts that I know of, anyway!) I am an involved parent. I am the parent who still signs up for snacks at the high school during teacher appreciation week. I am the mom who texts the other moms confirming plans, times, and expectations. I am the one who rolls the window down every. single. time, and yells “Don’t forget you love Jesus, make good choices!” (I think she likes it.) We make sure she checks her grades regularly and has conversations when she needs to concerning a reteach or make up. We make sure SHE is responsible for all of the follow ups she needs to be successful. Is that helicoptering? Or parenting?

If I hadn’t connected with her school on Facebook, or her church group in Instagram, or her HS principal on twitter (Virdie Montgomery, a good follow!) there are so many things I wouldn’t be aware of or have the chance to talk to her about. Thankfully, it’s 2017. There are no paper flyers that come home from the high school that I have to hunt down. Through our LMS we are able to access them all digitally, and of course, I am able to keep up that way. Don’t know if your school has/offers a LMS? itslearning is a great place to start! It’s a way for parents to stay connected with their campus, and as a leader, I make sure I push out all that I can so that again, parents NEED to stay connected with your student and oh my lizard, you have to start somewhere!

Be involved with your children. As an educator, I see the value in what it looks like when parents are more connected and involved with our campus. Parental involvement is an important factor in a successful school community. We can’t do it alone! It also helps for students to see that parents and educators are on the same team. We all want our students (your children!) to be successful… and the best way for educators to know what that looks like is for you to be involved. Help us help you! A trusting two-way relationship ensures that neither side will have to make assumptions on the other. Don’t know where to begin? Knowing the way communication is usually handled and through what channels is a great way to start.

There is such outrage circling the interwebs right now about the young adult series on Netflix “13 Reasons Why”. I made my teen read the book several years ago, and we watched the series together. If parents were more involved, genuinely, truly involved, that series actually might not rank at the top of your “to be concerned about” list. The amount of inappropriateness that cycles through SnapChat, or IG, or Quiz Up would astound you. There are conversations that need to be had. If you think your child “isn’t ready” for those kinds of convos, all the more reasons to have them! I preach that social media should be taught to the younger kids ALL the time. By the time they’re old enough to actually handle it, they’ve been all trained up by their peers and are uninterested in what you have to share.

Your children need you. They may not want you…but they NEED your wisdom, your experience, your voice. Don’t be scared of the things that go viral on Facebook, friends, be more scared of the stuff we know nothing about.

Communication is key, and parental involvement is important. Utilizing an LMS is just one part of the parent-student experience. If your school doesn’t already use an LMS, check out itslearning today!

This piece is sponsored by itslearning.

 

Side note…if my calling my teen “the beast” puzzles you, read this. 🙂 

Parenting puzzleR,

Amber

 

Principals are people too…or why there should be more smiling!

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While at ISTE this week, I met several people whom I hadn’t yet had the privilege of meeting f2f . People like John Spencer, whom I admire and respect for being able to articulate and defend ideas on not just education, but living life. People like Tom Murray, who is ya know, was just testifying before Congress about what is really happening in education. Or like subway navigating Bill Selak, who just may be the coolest guy I’ve ever hung around with. His facets of fascination make me cringe in inferiority!

It always reminds me when I meet these twitter “friends” how much more there is to them in real life. They’re not just a bio and 140 character message. Voxer has certainly helped, adding nuances and full personalities to those screen names I know so well. (Ahem, Tony Sinanis.)  But there is more. They are husbands, they are wives. They are teachers, they are administrators. They have personalities, and they can be hurt.

Today, Nick Provenzano, another virtual stranger turned friend shared an incredibly personal piece about dealing with anxiety and depression. Many people may claim that technology is dehumanizing relationships, but to me social media is the gateway to a connection that would have never existed. My heart just broke as I read what the amazingly effusive “nerdy teacher” was going through. We couldn’t walk to lunch this past week without being stopped by people wanting to take pictures with him or meet him in person…yet inside he was struggling.

My point here is one that I have, especially this past year, internally crystallized. Please don’t forget that we are all in this together. No one will thrive in an environment of criticism and constant critiques. Regardless of your role in education…say good morning to others! Be positive!   There is more to doing what we do than making a point or always being “right”. Know what? Being right isn’t a change agent. Remember that we are in a people business, no matter what part you play in a school day. If your role is to support teachers, do it from a place of mutual respect and appreciation. If you are dealing with an administrator you disagree with, guess what? We ALSO have feelings. Being able to effectively communicate without alienating your coworkers is crucial for a cohesive working environment.

principals

Just because you disagree with someone, doesn’t mean you have to disrespect them.  As an extremely (albeit unhealthily) sensitive person, this was was a huge wake up to me. How can I deliver leadership in a way that I myself, the super sensitive sassy girl, could handle? It’s a daily challenge!

Adam Bellow challenged us all this year to post an instagram tagged with #TYIW (this year I will) and my resolve now, post ISTE, is to remember that everything I share, think, say or do, impacts PEOPLE. Not just strangers on the internet…but someone who may just be a conversation away from being a friend.

Use your power for good, people! (go crickets.)

 

For other Principals are People Too posts, see these from…

resolvedly,

Amber

 

A digital footprint for the beast

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During a conversation with a new colleague recently, she expressed surprise at the fact that I have two daughters, not just one curly headed one. I heart social media, especially when it lets me share my sweet baby girl with my friends and family.

I am very cautious, however, about sharing my big girl. She almost a teen and I try to be very cognizant of her digital footprint. I don’t want her to be attached to the social stream of who I have defined her to be. I want her to be her own person, with her own likes, dislikes, pins, etc. I never use her real name on the internet. She is known by what I’ve called since she was 2 and toddled around carrying a sack of potatoes. She’s my “beast”. (Obviously, she’s gorgeous, else that would just be uncomfortable!)

I’m also aware of the fact that there are going to be times in the future when she is not holding my hand when she walks across the parking lot. I don’t need “strangers” being able to initiate conversations with her based on details I’ve provided. (The baby is always with an adult, less opportunity for that with her!)

She is very limited in what she is allowed to be involved with on the Internet. It is a constant discussion in our household in what I think she should have an account with or have zero access too. From what I have seen & learned though, is that my opinion does not match what other parents may be thinking or doing.

Scrolling through her “friends” accounts shows me how uninvolved some parents may be in their children’s social media world.

It’s not enough that I can teach MY child how to be appropriate…I also have to monitor what other people are posting & sharing. While I initially took advantage of the teachable moment when something came across, I ended up having her delete her account. There is a cognitive level of maturity that needs to occur both with her and her circle of friends before we’re going let her dive into that social media stream. Controversial? Probably, given my stance on all things SM, but unless my PLN wants to help me have some of the super awkward conversations that were caused by things that we came across…we’re going stick with harsher parameters for now.

Mom to 2,
Amber