my version of transparent, collaborative leadership...with a Teamann twist

Leadership Lesson from Lyrics: Shining Through the Hard

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April is flying by, which brings us closer to the “end” of the 23-24 school year. This is where most administrators are already thinking about next year, partly, hopefully, because at this point in the year…life feels easier.

Hot sports opinion: did it get easier, or did you start doing hard… better?

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Every year your tool belt gets a few more tools. We’ve become more adept at navigating complexity and adversity. As we encounter similar challenges repeatedly, we don’t necessarily find that the tasks themselves become easier. Rather, our skills, strategies, and mental frameworks for handling these situations improve.

Which ties in right nicely to these lyrics which I think have one of my favorite leadership lessons.

This week’s leadership lesson from lyrics comes from “Ours”, from way back in 2011.

Seems like there’s always someone who disapprovesThey’ll judge it like they know about me and youAnd the verdict comes from those with nothing else to doThe jury’s out, but my choice is you
So don’t you worry your pretty, little mindPeople throw rocks at things that shineAnd life makes love look hardThe stakes are high, the water’s rough…

While it can obviously be a song about a relationship, some parallels make me think about the evolution of an administrator’s mindset.

Seems like there’s always someone who disapproves, And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do…

These lines sure do make me think about how universal the leadership truth of criticism being inevitable is in education. Everyone has an opinion, and the odds are high they’ve formed theirs based on what Dr. Joe Sanfelippo says, “They’re still jacked up about not getting a second chicken sandwich at lunch twenty years ago.” Self-aware leaders know that disapproval and judgments will come with the territory. Standing firm in what you believe to be best for your staff is where your integrity begins.

The jury’s out, but my choice is you.

Standing beside your team…or in front of them, as the case may be, models again what it means to lead with your team in mind. District initiatives, state testing, critical parents…these are all issues that administrators deal with. But how that trickles back down to your staff is up to you. Early on, I distinctly remember texting certain team members while in meetings, asking questions, trying to get ahead of what was being shared at the district level, and I thankfully, had a rockstar teacher who finally said, “Hey. Stop that. You’re worked up, you get us worked up. Sit, listen, and then bring it back to us to talk about. We got you.”

Y’all.

Taking care of your team means controlling the broccoli. Vegetables may not be your thing, but we all know a balanced meal should include them. YOU are the one who gets to decide how much is on your people’s plate. There is a fine line, especially right now in education, in how full our people’s plates are. Let’s not be the ones who cause it to overflow…show them that you chose them. Control what gets added to their plates. Protect their time, their energy, and above all…let them focus on the students, not administrative minutiae.

People throw rocks at things that shine.

If you’re too “extra”, too shiny…it’s easy to…well…have things thrown at you. In my VERY FIRST principal meeting, I asked someone, another principal, a question, and she said, “People pay you to speak. Why are you asking me a question?”

Ouch.

(Lesson learned. Rock thrown.)

Any disruption of the status quo can disrupt the waters. The millions of images that we see that talk about blowing out the flames of others, or finding your tribe, or how you’ll never be too much for “your” people…all are a manifestation of how hard leadership (in any capacity) can be, especially when you don’t do it the exact same way as others. The crab mentality can be real. (where when one crab might try to escape, but the others pull it back down to prevent it). I’m thankful for the ones I know can see the difference between @8amber8, and Amber the principal, or tech director, or whatever title is attached to my name.  Success…or attention, or accomplishments…is not pie. There is plenty to go around. 

The stakes are high, the water’s rough…

There is a significant responsibility that comes with leadership. In a Pinterest, Instagram happy world it sure is easy to get beat down. You feel like you don’t do enough, no one is ever happy, and lasting wins are hard to come by. I think the hardest part of being an administrator is knowing which criteria defines how good you are at what you do. Is it high test scores? Happy teachers? District support and buy-in? Happy parents? Innovative learning? Happy students? It’s very difficult to have all of those be true at the same time. Maintaining a passion and commitment in leadership can be challenging when the push and pull of external pressures threaten to dampen that drive that you started with. In 2021, according to the National Center for Education Statistics, the average tenure of principals at their schools was about four years. I can’t imagine it’s increased in the past three years.

The last line I didn’t include, but is, “This love is ours”. Do what you do, friends, the way that you do it.

LOVING what you do is the only way to make sure you can keep doing it.

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Remember, this love for what you do is what will keep you moving forward, no matter how high the stakes or how rough the waters.

 

Shining on &

 

PS: Catch the other posts in this leadership lesson series?? If not, here ya go!

Swift Lessons in Leadership through Lyrics: The Fine Line Between Honesty and Cruelty”

Leadership Lessons from Lyrics: Embracing the Anti-Hero Within

Leadership Lessons from Lyrics: You’re on Your Own, Kid…no, really. You totally are.

 

PPS: Next week, will we dive into #TTPD?? Will I derail the TSwift train and tackle other lyrical masterminds? (See what I did there?)

You’ll have to wait and see!!

 

 

Leadership Lessons from Lyrics: You’re on Your Own, Kid…no, really. You totally are.

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In the series “Leadership Lessons from Lyrics,” this is week three comparing Tswift lyrics and the ever-shifting world of educational leadership…or at least, in the ways I’ve experienced it.

Today’s lyric resonates personally, painfully, but also highlights the rewards of leading. These lyrics suggest a journey of self-discovery and resilience that are more relatable than you might think. The gem of greatness that is “You’re on Your Own, Kid” ends with the following:

‘Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burnedEverything you lose is a step you takeSo make the friendship braceletsTake the moment and taste itYou’ve got no reason to be afraid
You’re on your own, kidYeah, you can face thisYou’re on your own, kidYou always have been

Change is hard, even good change.

Pages turned, with bridges burned. I often marvel (spiral?) at how I spent almost 6 years with 75+ staff members…and almost all of them are people I will never talk to or see again. Isn’t that a crazy thought? When making a change, especially as dramatic of one as I did when I left in 2020, relationships naturally evolve. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, the regular interactions we once held so tightly can trickle down to a stop, leading paths to diverge. This isn’t a reflection of failure or a reason for regret but a part of the natural ebb and flow of professional relationships. (Amber, reread that sentence as often as you need to.) As we grow and change, so do our connections with others. Recognizing and accepting these changes with grace is essential for personal growth but also allows us to cherish the times of close relationships and learn from each phase of our relationships. Those relationships are the pages turned.

Everything you lose is a step you take.

Every loss or shift away from the familiar is a step forward in our professional growth. From classroom to coach to assistant principal or whatever the next rung up the ladder might be…relationships change. I often say that as principal my jokes were always funny and my outfits were always cute. Your position, once you’ve started to advance, will always precede your person.

Sacrificing the ability to be off the cuff or to speak without thinking is one of the things you lose as you take those steps “up”. One of my favorite Todd Whitaker conversations was about transparent leadership, and how even if people think they want to know everything, there’s a reason they don’t.

The easy answers were answered before the questions made their way to your desk.

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So make the friendship bracelets, take the moment and taste it.

Enjoy where you are, because someday you’ll look back and think…man, that went by fast. Leaders embrace building and nurturing relationships. Through the decades we do this, the bonds we create, the memories we make, with our campuses, our students, and their families, are the bright and shiny friendship bracelets we hold onto. Whether it be from a Facebook memory, or a framed picture that hangs on your wall, those “beads” serve as the memories of the special moments you’d had together. These connections are not just professional necessities but are the actual reason this hard work is so worth it. Reminders of the path we’ve taken to get there. Each time I reshare or click “Love” in appreciation of a memory shared, I mentally have to shake off the “Gosh, can’t she just move on?” guilt I mentally assign the action…but that’s just me, taking the moment.

You’ve got no reason to be afraid, you’re on your own, kid.

While educational leaders work closely with others, there are moments when even the most collaborative can feel isolated and alone. I wonder, though, if our lived experiences shape our perspectives in such a way that, fundamentally, we are always on our own as individuals. A coworker and I had this conversation this week about athletes and records being “broken”, and the caveat of the “yeah, but back in my day…” that usually follows that celebration.

We may all be doing the same jobs, but nobody else has done it just the way you’re doing it.

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I can’t relate to principals now, I haven’t led a campus dealing with the budget shortfalls or teacher shortage that’s happening right now. Every campus is different, has its history, and has its own “white fences”. Advice shared or given, ultimately, can be met with “but you don’t know my people.” Hopefully, these lyrics remind us that even when the journey feels solitary, our inner strength and capabilities are enough to meet these challenges. That’s why you are where you are…because YOU can handle it.

Leadership is not just about guiding others but also about continuously evolving as individuals. Each challenge we face, and each decision we make, shapes us into more capable and understanding leaders. Remember, every bridge burned and every page turned invites fresh opportunities to write our own stories. Be confident that while the journey may often be solo and feel even solo-er, it is uniquely yours—a tribute to your ability to adapt and thrive.

Keep moving forward friends, with courage, for in leadership like in life, we learn from the journey than we do the destination.

Humming along &

Leadership Lessons from Lyrics: Embracing the Anti-Hero Within

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This is week two of “Leadership Lessons from Lyrics…did you see last week’s post? Loved the comments on Facebook, X, and even on IG of how it resonated with all of my leader peeps. So glad it’s not just me who feels like brutal honesty is NOT how we want to give…or receive feedback!

This week the lesson that has popped up ALL week long is from “AntiHero”, by the TSwift.

It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s meAt tea time, everybody agreesI’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirrorIt must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

I’ve been replaying these lyrics in my mind all week…and it baffles me that self-awareness isn’t a cornerstone of every leadership training program out there. Team members and leaders who can openly acknowledge their own shortcomings set the example for a culture of humility and ongoing learning among their teams and colleagues. It builds an environment where it’s okay to fess up to mistakes and learn from them. However, if you’re in a place where no one seems able to admit they’ve dropped the ball, it will impact the culture, eroding trust and fostering resentment. And when things hit the fan, that reluctance to own up could seriously hinder open, honest communication.

If the expectation is that leaders should step back from the spotlight in times of success but step up in challenging times, shouldn’t this principle be practiced consistently?

Is an unwillingness to accept fault based on a lack of confidence or fear of consequence?

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Being able to acknowledge that you don’t know everything and are willing to reset, regroup, and try again is crucial in education. Every situation and student (or staff member!) is different. They are coming to the table with different experiences and therefore, a different lens.

Just because you are in charge doesn’t mean you always get it right.

When a team member consistently refuses to acknowledge their mistakes, it can diminish both trust and respect. People tend to follow leaders who are honest and transparent about their shortcomings, as it makes them more relatable and trustworthy. By openly acknowledging mistakes, you’ll model a growth mindset and resilience. This behavior encourages others to admit and learn from their errors, fostering a culture where learning from failure is not just accepted but encouraged. It demonstrates that making mistakes is a natural part of the learning process, not something to be ashamed of.

Acknowledging mistakes is the first step toward correcting them and preventing similar issues in the future…which your team needs to hear.

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The phrase “I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror” suggests that while you’ll take on other people’s issues, and be willing to tackle tough challenges with others, but aren’t so willing to do so when you are the one making the mistake. Growth as a leader means you have to be willing to check in with yourself as well. I know that ego plays a part in this, and am willing to acknowledge several times that it’s gotten me tangled up as well. I think transitioning from a position where I felt confident in what I was doing to a completely different “lane” of education has allowed me quite regularly to admit that I need help and support. Balancing that with the confidence of leadership feels awfully antihero.

It’s not just about steering the ship with a steady hand; it’s also about being brave enough to admit when we’ve hit rough waters because of our own doing. This journey of self-reflection and acknowledgment isn’t just for the brave or pop singer—it’s for every leader/team member aspiring to foster an environment of trust, risk-taking, and innovation.

Here’s to embracing our inner anti-heroes, learning from our missteps, and leading with a mix of confidence and humility. Can’t wait to see where next week’s lyrics will take us!

Staring at the mirror &