handling adversity

April is flying by, which brings us closer to the “end” of the 23-24 school year. This is where most administrators are already thinking about next year, partly, hopefully, because at this point in the year…life feels easier.

Hot sports opinion: did it get easier, or did you start doing hard… better?

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Every year your tool belt gets a few more tools. We’ve become more adept at navigating complexity and adversity. As we encounter similar challenges repeatedly, we don’t necessarily find that the tasks themselves become easier. Rather, our skills, strategies, and mental frameworks for handling these situations improve.

Which ties in right nicely to these lyrics which I think have one of my favorite leadership lessons.

This week’s leadership lesson from lyrics comes from “Ours”, from way back in 2011.

Seems like there’s always someone who disapprovesThey’ll judge it like they know about me and youAnd the verdict comes from those with nothing else to doThe jury’s out, but my choice is you

So don’t you worry your pretty, little mindPeople throw rocks at things that shineAnd life makes love look hardThe stakes are high, the water’s rough…

While it can obviously be a song about a relationship, some parallels make me think about the evolution of an administrator’s mindset.

Seems like there’s always someone who disapproves, And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do…

These lines sure do make me think about how universal the leadership truth of criticism being inevitable is in education. Everyone has an opinion, and the odds are high they’ve formed theirs based on what Dr. Joe Sanfelippo says, “They’re still jacked up about not getting a second chicken sandwich at lunch twenty years ago.” Self-aware leaders know that disapproval and judgments will come with the territory. Standing firm in what you believe to be best for your staff is where your integrity begins.

The jury’s out, but my choice is you.

Standing beside your team…or in front of them, as the case may be, models again what it means to lead with your team in mind. District initiatives, state testing, critical parents…these are all issues that administrators deal with. But how that trickles back down to your staff is up to you. Early on, I distinctly remember texting certain team members while in meetings, asking questions, trying to get ahead of what was being shared at the district level, and I thankfully, had a rockstar teacher who finally said, “Hey. Stop that. You’re worked up, you get us worked up. Sit, listen, and then bring it back to us to talk about. We got you.”

Y’all.

Taking care of your team means controlling the broccoli. Vegetables may not be your thing, but we all know a balanced meal should include them. YOU are the one who gets to decide how much is on your people’s plate. There is a fine line, especially right now in education, in how full our people’s plates are. Let’s not be the ones who cause it to overflow…show them that you chose them. Control what gets added to their plates. Protect their time, their energy, and above all…let them focus on the students, not administrative minutiae.

People throw rocks at things that shine.

If you’re too “extra”, too shiny…it’s easy to…well…have things thrown at you. In my VERY FIRST principal meeting, I asked someone, another principal, a question, and she said, “People pay you to speak. Why are you asking me a question?”

Ouch.

(Lesson learned. Rock thrown.)

Any disruption of the status quo can disrupt the waters. The millions of images that we see that talk about blowing out the flames of others, or finding your tribe, or how you’ll never be too much for “your” people…all are a manifestation of how hard leadership (in any capacity) can be, especially when you don’t do it the exact same way as others. The crab mentality can be real. (where when one crab might try to escape, but the others pull it back down to prevent it). I’m thankful for the ones I know can see the difference between @8amber8, and Amber the principal, or tech director, or whatever title is attached to my name. Success…or attention, or accomplishments…is not pie. There is plenty to go around.

The stakes are high, the water’s rough…

There is a significant responsibility that comes with leadership. In a Pinterest, Instagram happy world it sure is easy to get beat down. You feel like you don’t do enough, no one is ever happy, and lasting wins are hard to come by. I think the hardest part of being an administrator is knowing which criteria defines how good you are at what you do. Is it high test scores? Happy teachers? District support and buy-in? Happy parents? Innovative learning? Happy students? It’s very difficult to have all of those be true at the same time. Maintaining a passion and commitment in leadership can be challenging when the push and pull of external pressures threaten to dampen that drive that you started with. In 2021, according to the National Center for Education Statistics, the average tenure of principals at their schools was about four years. I can’t imagine it’s increased in the past three years.

The last line I didn’t include, but is, “This love is ours”. Do what you do, friends, the way that you do it.

LOVING what you do is the only way to make sure you can keep doing it.

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Remember, this love for what you do is what will keep you moving forward, no matter how high the stakes or how rough the waters.

Shining on &