I’ve talked a lot about how I think transparency in this role is crucial. There can be so much pressure to be Pinterest perfect, even as a principal. Now that I am entering year 4, I generally feel as if I have a pretty good grip on what I am doing and in what direction we’re all heading.

Nothing will make me doubt that faster than a deep data dive.

This post isn’t about the merits of testing or my personal stance on its purpose in education. I don’t want to debate any of that drama. It’s above my pay grade! THIS IS NOT THAT POST!

This post is about how it makes me feel, physically, when trying to have a conversation, with one of the hardest working staffs I’ve had the privilege of working with. One that is encouraging and supportive, but also accountable, challenging and motivating.

When we met as a district leadership team to review our campus performance data, my roller coaster of a reaction varied on the page I was on. Some pages were great. Some were amazing. Some made me see the potential. Some had gains across the board and some had leveled off.

I should also point out that we did really well, overall. 

But that isn’t what I walked away thinking. I walked away needing a pedicure and some quiet time. My immediate next step was to figure out how to deliver this same info to those hard-working teachers. Even what we did well in was overshadowed by the areas where we could have done better.

My goal, always, via Todd Whitaker, is for them to walk away from our campus meetings more excited to teach tomorrow than they were today. This meeting did not do that. Even my body revolted against me, I could feel the beginnings of a fever blister.

Delivering the reality of what we did, knowing that we can always do better (b/c hello, growth mindset and we can ALWAYS DO BETTER!) is incredibly difficult to do without making people feel like what they did wasn’t good enough. And even if that’s true? That is a sucky thing. 

I think I need to read more sports leadership books…this is what coaches deal with all the time, right? Playing hard, leaving it all on the field…and still not winning every game. That can be the reality in the classroom too.

I have decided that we won’t be doing anymore whole group data days moving forward. We’ll meet separately as a grade level PLC, and have these conversations. Same data will be shared, face time will still happen to everyone. Celebrations will be more meaningful and but I am hoping the “where can we ‘level up” chat will also be easier in smaller safer place.

So there. Principal confession. I hate data days. I love data and what it can to help, guide, and inform…but man, it stresses me out.

Make me feel better and tell me YOUR principal confession!!

Confessionally and

Recently my oldest, my beast, turned 16.

16, ya’ll.

That’s OLD!

That’s driving age, thinking about college age, preparing to be all grown up age. When I think back to who I was, or thought I was going to be at 16, I don’t know that I had any concept of the life I had before me. All the things that I would go through, the friends that would change, or the reality of that all grown-upness. Those crazy fun college memories, the lessons life would teach me. That was a distant possibility to a girl living in the Grove. (aka: the hood!)

I wish I’d had more of the friends I do now, the levelheaded mature friends. The middle-aged (gulp.) ones that see past where you’ve been and instead empower all that they know you are.

The independent, strong friends…who remind me of who I still want to be, even at my age.

That show women have a choice, and a voice…the power to do what we want when we want…if we are calm, and think things through.

That you can be your own boss and you can walk your own path.

That you’re not defined by your mistakes, and can actually grow to be even more wise and stronger because of them. Ones that tell me that mistakes don’t derail your dreams, sweet girl, but instead, just give you a more creative, scenic route, to get you there.

The friends that help you see that strong women aren’t your competition, that Jesus loves you, and that your parents are actually way more right than they are wrong.

Luckily, I am surrounded by women who teach me these messages. Some of have been in my beast’s life for a few years, some for all 16. Some are family, some are practically family. Knowing that she’d never listen to these messages from me, no matter how great our relationship is, I reached out to the amazing women in my life.  From the one that was in the room with me when I delivered to the ones I call now to lament her high school teenage angst with…I reached out.

I asked them to write her a letter. A “What you wish you knew at 16” letter…and to seal it up in a self-addressed stamped envelope and mail it to my girl. On the first of each month (and a few extras for “bad” days”!) she’ll choose one, not knowing who it’s from, and read their words of wisdom. The incomparable Emily Turner (owner of RaiderDoodles) hand decorated each envelope. They are incredible! Each one is different and special. The beast has opened each one so carefully, she wants to save the artistic envelopes too! Look at these!

We’re a few months in now, and while each one has made me cry, they are also already heavily creased from her rereads. The words they shared have already made an impact. They are all directed to her in this stage of her life…and have varied from a bulleted list to four pages of “you’re incredible, you’re amazing and here’s what you do when you don’t feel that way”.

They’re beautiful. They’re heartfelt.  They’re what I ALSO wish I’d known at 16.

I am so thankful for the powerful, strong women in my life. Not just for me, however, but for the love and the guidance they’re now sharing with my beast.

Value the people in your world, from your IRL relationships to those you know online. You never know when you’ll have an opportunity to grow and learn from what they have to offer.