AmberTeamann — Page 13

Avoid those educational extremes!

October 10, 2017 by Amber 3 Comments

Last week I decided I would give up carbs. It wasn’t a rash decision. It was actually well thought out, prompted in part by the massive amount of snacks I was gifted for my birthday. (Anytime 10 different people are able to buy you fritos, you know you’re in a bad snack choosing place!) I have some friends who love their keto life style, so I thought, I can handle this…high fat, low/no carb. I got this.

Day one went well.

Day two prompted my husband to question my life choices.

Day three I ate a jelly doughnut.

What I’ve learned in my third year as an administrator is the same thing I learned in my carbless adventure last week…you can’t go to the extreme in your decision and choices.

There are a variety of hot sports opinions on “how” we should be doing what we do in education. They tend to fall in the “extreme” category. It’s almost to the point where I can’t check twitter anymore because I am so easily annoyed at the “extreme” ideals of what is being shared, and how very different it is from my reality.

There are very few things that I think I would now take a hard and fast stance against in education. There’s a lot I would stand for…primarily, a focus on the individual people. The relationships. Building connections. Fostering hope. But these are not mutually exclusive against some of the other things that we hear. George Couros just referenced this conversion on FB a book he was reading for perspective, “What I notice in that in this reading it is very either/or for “kids nowadays”. ”

Why does it have to be an OR? Can’t there be an AND?

Every campus, every classroom, every child, every day.

My teen? My AP class taking teen? She knows what her PSAT, ACT, and SAT scores have to be in order to attend Texas Tech University. Taking tests like that do not compare to a hands on, no HW, no testing environment. Yes, we’ve done test prep. She hasn’t had algebra in a year…but you better believe we’re doing algebra HOMEWORK in order to prepare her for what is coming up on the PSAT. I know that she is also taking practice tests at school…are they teaching her to the test? No, but they are preparing her for what lies ahead…these scores will determine her trajectory moving forward. I NEED HER PREPPED!

What a disservice we are doing if we don’t give the help students need, vs the help we think they should be getting.

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I get that our educational system needs a re-haul. I get that we are over testing our students. but I also know that my job isn’t just to play, it’s to prepare them academically. That’s a foundation of reading, of writing, and of mathematical foundations. I can do that in a fun environment, that teaches them to love learning , but when you say things like “Just love your job and everything else will be ok.”, I find that hard to stomach. You’ve got people all across the nation who love their job…but are also working their bottoms off to give their students every possible advantage they can. They have students who are struggling, who are behind, below, every which way. They deserve to have us prepare them for their actual reality, not the one we wish they could have.

Back off the extremes, friends. Let’s do right by each kid, and whatever it takes to make that happen.

all the things,

Amber

Changing the Way We Think About Leadership #EdWriteNow

October 1, 2017 by Amber 1 Comment

When I reflect back on the professional opportunities I’ve been blessed with, I am so thankful to have many that rank way on up there. I can’t think of one, however, that had as much of a purpose as the one I experienced this summer. When Jeff Zoul and Joe Mazza initially reached out, about the #EDWriteNow project they had in mind, I was flattered, I was humbled, I was terrified. The concept was unique…10 writers, sequestered and challenged to write 5000 words…one chapter contributing to the overall message… of changing the way we think about different pressing facets of what we’re doing these days in education. All proceeds would benefit an amazing cause, The Will to Live Foundation; an organization founded to support teen suicide prevention. I signed on to the opportunity and agreed to donate my time and write a chapter; all of which would be completed in 2.5 days over a weekend in July. Saying yes was a no-brainer!

I am fortunate to be surrounded by REALLY smart friends…like award-winning, multiple books, bestselling author friends. It is humbling at times to look around my PLN and the collective knowledge and expertise that exists. This group of ten was no different. This was a group of passionate, involved, committed people. Our first meeting was a brainstorming session to establish what we would each write about. In the next 48 hours, we set up a schedule that allowed for solo writing time as well as partner share/reflection time. We had the chance to connect and give each other feedback. (By the way, stressful environment? Try chatting with authors like Starr Sackstein or Tom Murray…both with multiple best-selling education books, them giving you personal feedback on your writing… sheesh! The pressure!) The goal was to have our individual chapters completed by Sunday morning.

10 chapters, 10 authors, one book. It was incredible.

The topic I ended up landing on was one I’d been struggling with for awhile. Why is it that when you read about an administrator in the paper, or on the news, it’s in a negative light? When did school based leadership automatically become the bad guy? It was pressing on my heart then, and even now…I struggle with knowing my position has the traditional connotation of negativity. Given that I’ve been threatened and belittled with profanity TWICE in the past two weeks, again says that we need to change the way we think about leaders and how we go about our position.

Here is just a smidgen on my piece, “Changing the Way We Think About Leadership”.

The administration title carries a unique work load. Our days are filled with decisions. From decisions that have a major to a minor impact, we spend each day with a list of things to do, and then chase the many fires that occur instead. We know the good, the bad, and the ugly…from students to staff, to our community. On any given day we decide what goes in a coke machine to whether we feel a parent is mistreating a child.

Much of what we do is dictated by state and district policy, and yet, there is no instruction manual that you’re given when named “administrator”. While we are able to make a sustainable impact, we are still held to the highest of expectations. That’s why we get the big bucks, right? To never make mistakes and ensure that everyone is happy. Our decisions and the implications of that what we say goes is a heavy load. It’s an incredible honor, but it’s also incredibly stressful. There literally is no winning in some situations. Everyone will not be happy with the decisions made.

Leadership means making the hard decisions sometimes.

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Recognizing that education itself is different than it was even just 10-20 years ago calls for also recognizing that the way we look at the role of “administrator” needs to change. It needs to evolve before any other of the changes we want to see happen in education can occur because like with most other decisions made in a school, it starts and can stop right at our door.

Gone are the days where anyone can do this job alone.

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A quote that anchors much of what I believe and share is by David Weinberger, “The smartest person in the room, is the room.” Connecting to other practitioners in this day is too easy for it to not be happening in school district and campuses, world wide. Whether it a virtual relationship via social media, or a core group of peers whose opinion you value, there is such benefit in having a group to collaborate or share ideas with. It can also be lonely in that office all by yourself. By developing relationships and making professional connections, you are exponentially increasing your ability and opportunity for success within your walls. By flattening what we think of when we think “administrator” we have the power of changing everything about what we do. An administrator who dares to do things differently and challenge the status quo of what has been done before can not only transform their role, but empower all of those below…by bringing them alongside.

I can’t wait to see how the entire book comes together.

Be sure to pick up your copy of Education Write Now. You’ll support a great cause, and hopefully, be challenged to think differently about education, right now.

Sharingly,

Amber

Principal Pinterest pressure..it’s a thing!

August 12, 2017 by Amber 8 Comments

Have you heard the quote “Comparison is the thief of joy”?

I think that may have come out after the invention of Pinterest and/or social media.

Maybe its just me. Maybe I’m the one scrolls through the FB or the twitters and thinks man, I am so slacking. My outfits weren’t that fun. Each and every sentence outta my mouth isn’t Pictaquote quality. My staff development wasn’t that creative. My day left me in tears, and that chick has never cried a day in her life. (and what wrinkle cream does she use anyway?!?)

As if our educational world wasn’t tough enough, we have the constant exposure to all of the rockstars that we are surrounded by. The ones who obviously don’t sleep, the ones that have a bottomless budget, or the ones to whom everything just comes easier too. The pressure of the pinterest perfect principal…it’s a real thing!!

Don’t fall victim to the pressure, friends. There is always more to the story. I made a comment to a friend recently about how proud I was of her for data I had seen, 100% of her advanced students had scored advanced on our state test. She laughed, and said “Yea, I only had one advanced student though”. That sure wasn’t listed in the footnotes for the data on the screen! Please remember that you are only getting to see the highlight reel.

You’re seeing a snapshot of their day, and that is it.

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That aside, what YOU do is good enough. That where YOU are is where you are supposed to be. I guarantee YOUR staff is appreciative of what YOU do, and is thankful for YOUR efforts. Don’t compare. Let’s be satisfied with what we do, and how we do it. Let’s know that our reality is perfectly acceptable, in fact, our reality is awesome. We strive for perfection and success, and when we fall short, we feel less than and worthless. What we don’t seem to realize is that working toward our goals and being willing to put ourselves out there are accomplishments within themselves, regardless of how many times we fail or feel like

If you can scroll and be inspired, excellent. Tweak and twist, and reinvent for your world. That’s awesome! See something of mine you like? PLEASE reach out and I will share it all with you! Education is not a zero sum game.

But if you find yourself constantly comparing, and worse, not measuring up?

The “unfollow” button is your friend. Use it.

Non-guilty-ly,

Amber

#12: What if there is a conflict among my team? #askanadmin

August 11, 2017 by Amber 1 Comment

Drama, drama, drama…it happens to the best of us! What do you do when you have a conflict with your teams?

How about we let Katie Martin and Jeff Zoul answer this! Both have extensive experience in not only working with education peeps, but have led/managed groups of people, which inevitably? Could lead to conflict!

Katie:

When I was growing up my dad used to “lock” my best friend and I in the car when we were fighting. We later realized that we were not actually locked in but it was more of a place for us to work it out where he didn’t have to hear it. Kind of genius, actually. To this day we are still great friends and have always been able to work through our issues. This has probably influenced how I tend to handle conflict. My tendency is to confront issues head on to resolve them and move on.

When there is conflict on our staff, whether it is people coming to me with problems or tensions that I notice, I try to acknowledge them and work with individuals to move forward rather than sweep it under the rug. I always talk with individuals to first try and encourage them to work it out together. But when that doesn’t work, I bring them together to facilitate some “crucial conversations.” Recently, I had two team members that were equally passionate but they had very different work styles and ways of approaching the problem and weren’t listening to one another. Instead, they took offense every time that one person did something differently than they would have. We focused on these 3 strategies to improve communication and better work together:

Seek to Understand: Let’s be honest, when people are frustrated or there is conflict, most often it is because they feel misunderstood and/or undervalued. It is important to listen to one another, you don’t have to agree but we owe it to our colleagues to listen to them and ensure that people know they are heard and valued.

Identify strengths: You don’t have to like everyone, but as professionals we are better if we work together, not against one another. If we focus on what is right with people rather than what is wrong, we can usually find a way to appreciate others and work together. When individuals are aware of what they are good at and leverage their strengths to do their best work, everyone benefits. To collaborate with others, one first must understand themselves and their own strengths and work to understand and leverage the talents of the group to do their best work.

Find Common Goal– In education, our focus should always be on creating better opportunities and experiences for the learners we serve. With this as the common goal, we worked to figure out how to meet our shared goals. Conflict can be healthy and productive and is necessary to get better but it’s important to be tough on ideas, not on people.

Based on the steps above, we began by seeking to understand and found out that a lot of assumptions had been made about one another that had led to their challenging collaboration. Once each person understood where each was coming from, and felt valued, we discussed work preferences and one another’s strengths. At the end, they were both committed to doing great work and reaching their desired goal. Addressing the challenges and assumptions in the open allowed them to better communicate and they ended up being a very effective team once they figured out how to communicate and leverage each other’s strengths rather than take differences personally.

If that doesn’t work, try locking them in a car.

Jeff:

Anyone serving as a leader must, at times, deal with conflict among team members. All teams encounter conflicts at some point; in fact, I believe that high-performing teams engage in conflict every bit as much as weak teams. The difference lies not in the amount or intensity of conflict such disparate teams experience, the difference lies in the way such conflicts are addressed and resolved. Strong teams, with strong team leaders who embrace conflict as inevitable, view it as a way to grow stronger as a team and make decisions that are best for others in the organization the team serves. In our schools, the most important “others” to keep in mind during times of conflict are the students learning and growing in our schools.

When I am leading a team in conflict, I try to keep several things in mind. First, it is important to simply acknowledge the conflict and not pretend the conflict does not exist. Next, it is important to engage everyone involved in the conflict in conversation about the conflict, ensuring that all voices are heard without interrupting anyone who is speaking. As the leader of the team, it is best–at least initially–to do very little talking, instead focusing on active listening with perhaps follow-up questions of team members. We must establish expectations for the conflict resolution process and gain commitment to the process from all involved. Honestly, it is often the case that by simply taking the time to address the conflict openly and engaging affected members in a conversation about the conflict, the resolution almost takes care of itself, as team members gain a deeper understanding of their colleagues’’ perspectives. However, when team members still disagree about an issue, even after the issue is raised openly and discussed thoroughly, there must still be a resolution. Sometimes, the “resolution” can simply be that we agree to disagree privately but also agree to move forward publicly as a unified team, going in the direction of the team’s consensus.

The conflicts that arise among all teams are inevitable and wide-ranging in type and extent. No two conflicts are identical. Unfortunately, they can stem from emotions and personality differences. To resolve conflicts effectively, it is important, however, to take emotion and personality difference out of the equation and instead focus on how the conflict is impacting the team’s’ cohesiveness and productivity. Remind the affected parties of the team’s “Why?” Why do they exist as a team and what can they agree to collectively to turn the conflict into a positive–or at the very least, a neutral. In our schools, it is likely that the team exists–ultimately–to do what is best for kids and it is powerful to remind team members in times of conflict that we are here to serve our students.

How fortunate are we to learn from such greatness? Trying to balance all the emotions, all the times, can be such a struggle…I appreciate these perspectives SO much!

We have just ONE more questions in this series!

RefereeN,

Amber

Missed my other posts in this series?

Q1: What is your go to strategy for team building?

Q2: What is something you do EVERY year, without fail?

Q3: What is something you wished you knew as a first year administrator?

Q4: What has gotten easier through the years? Harder?

Q5: Where do I even start to build a culture of innovation?

Q6: How do I become the instructional leader?

Q7: How does the leader model RISK TAKING?

Q8: What are you reading to GROW as a leader?

Q9: How do you know who to hire?

Q10: As the leader, what are you MOST proud of at your school?

Q11: Uh oh! How do you work with a combative parent?

#11: Uh oh! How do you work with a combative parent? #askanadmin

August 4, 2017 by Amber 1 Comment

We’ve all got parents who are passionate for their students, who want to make sure that they are doing all that they can to ensure their students success. What happens when that passion comes across as combative? This is a situation every administrator has had come up in their career …also one you may have had as a parent. Either way, it can make or break a relationship if it doesn’t go well. Most parents don’t have the opportunity to have one on one face time with you as the principal, so this is definitely something you want to give though too.

To help dial this one in, we’ve got the greatness of Brad Gustafson, principal extraordinaire and author of “Renegade Leadership“. Brad’s kinda who I wanna be when I grow up, 🙂 Also adding her perspective is Dr. Rachel George, a fellow ASCD Emergent Leader and elementary principal.

Brad:

When I connect with parents who are upset, I try to really listen for what they are asking for and why. In my experience, parents oftentimes have a very clear idea of what they are looking for, and unfortunately schools are not always able to accommodate their exact requests. In these instances, I strive to offer a few different options that may be helpful instead of simply denying a specific request. I always try to couple this with sentiments that convey our sincere desire to partner and make things better for their child. Lastly, I tend to gravitate to the telephone as opposed to working through difficult issues via email. This not only helps preserve the relationship, but it enhances my ability to be responsive while also being more efficient.

Brad and Ben Gilpin also have a great podcast that recently aired that talks about just this topic, “Practical Tips for Working with Challenging Parents”.
Check it out! (Shameless plug, I’m their guest for this topic!)

Rachael:

I used to get so nervous when a combative parent would call or come into the office. In fact, I remember closing the door to my office and practicing the conversation before I walked out to greet them in the foyer just to calm my nerves. As time progressed, my approach to working with combative parents has changed and so has my outlook on these interactions. Where I once hated these conversations, I now look forward to them and embrace the experience as it makes me a better leader and it helps me learn how I
can better serve my families and students. Through the years, I have found the following things to be helpful when working with combative parents.

Seek understanding:

Prior to meeting with parents that seem angry or upset about situations I do my best to seek background information as to the parent’s state of emotion. Through seeking information of staff members or probing questions to the parents themselves prior to meeting you can often find that their state of combativeness stems from issues that are of a personal nature to them and totally unrelated to the current situation. Or perhaps, it can often be that or they have a sense of things that have happened in the past regarding school based issues that they feel have been unresolved to their liking and they have piled up. This then renders them unable to deal with the current because they cannot get over the past.

Set ground rules if needed:

If the need to meet and work things out becomes paramount, then setting the stage for the meeting is important. There are some parents that you already know are going to come in and explode. Most all of the time I can handle that situation without preface but if another person is in the room, like a teacher, I set ground rules before we even get going. I explain that we are here because we all care about their student and/or whatever we are going to talk about. From there, I explain that during our meeting we will seek a complete understanding of what led to the impasse and will hear all sides so that we attack problems not people. This means that we are going to talk to each other respectfully with our tone and language. I ensure, so that it is clear to all involved in any discussion of this nature, that at any point the tone turns abusive or combative that we will stop the meeting and communicate at another time. Usually this public pronouncement sets the tone for the meeting. In seven years I have only had to stop three parents and adjourn the meeting.

Be intentional about body positioning and location:

Depending upon the parent and the content of the meeting, I am facilimanipulative about where I sit. My goal is to make all conversations, of any nature, be comfortable and personable. However, we all know that sometimes things aren’t conducive to that desire. Authoritative or personable, behind the desk or seated side by side positioning and proximity provide an appropriate relational boundary of expectations. If I need to enlist some authority on a situation, issue or relationship, I sit across from the parent at my desk. If I want to set the tone of meeting them halfway and that I am open and understanding with my opinion, I sit on the side of my desk near them. Those of course are extremes. The majority of the time I seek for a relational conversation and to speak from the heart regarding an emotional topic. That is when I sit next to them on their side of my desk. While some might give me a hard time about how much thought I put into where I sit, it does make a difference.

Actively listen, take notes, and clarify:

Regardless of where I sit, I always take notes and listen to the parent. I try not to talk until I have heard their entire story, perspective, or concern. I do this not to pacify them just to make them feel heard but so that I can clearly understand what they are conveying to me and so that I can make sure to ask clarifying questions if there is any confusion. Just like us, when we get really passionate or emotional, our conversations can go in circles and we can be unclear about how we would like it resolved. Through it all, I take notes. Not a crazy amount of notes but enough so that I capture the conversation and what I need to follow-up on.

Summarize and seek agreement of fact.

Always summarize the position of the parent as you have understood it at the conclusion of their argument. I know it sounds somewhat legalistic but it reassures them that you have listened and been attentive to their concern while it also ensures that you have an understanding of their perspective. This will also allow you to seek clarification and/or provide relevant facts, information or evidence that may be contrary to their points.

Apologize when necessary and don’t hold it back.

If we’ve screwed up I admit it and I’ve learned that an apology goes a long way. If we were in the wrong or could have done something better, I admit it. You aren’t helping anyone when you withhold an apology that is rightfully deserved. Often this acknowledgment is the first step in repairing the relationship and turning the conversation into how things can be fixed. Perhaps even more important though is apologizing even if there has no wrongdoing. Acknowledging and caring for someone’s displeasure and level of anxiety regardless of right or wrong can often lead to a strong alliance. Being humble and caring as to any and all circumstances can often lead to more positive relationships in the future.

Make sure to follow up.

One of the fastest ways to break down trust with your parents is to not follow through. During these meetings, usually something always comes out of it that requires follow-up such as seeking additional information about an incident, investigating further, having the counselor follow-up with the student or something else. If this isn’t done, the relationship with the parent will be gone. Therefore, I am very intentional about following up and following through with all agreements made in the meeting. I want parents to trust me and to trust my word. The only way to prove this is through my actions. The final thing that I always remind myself of is that the parents are coming from a place of care. They are in your office or on the phone because they care about their child and they want what they believe is best for them.

On a side note, the book” Thanks for the Feedback” has been a huge game changer in how I view conversations, interactions and general feedback. If you haven’t read this book, I highly recommend it as it has shown me that everyone has some truth and insight that can help you improve.

Whoa!! Is that some great advice or WHAT??? I hope ya’ll are learning as much from this series as I am! We have just two more questions, and these last two are doozies!

Parent prepared,

Amber