my version of transparent, collaborative leadership...with a Teamann twist

Leadership Lessons from Lyrics: Embracing the Anti-Hero Within

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This is week two of “Leadership Lessons from Lyrics…did you see last week’s post? Loved the comments on Facebook, X, and even on IG of how it resonated with all of my leader peeps. So glad it’s not just me who feels like brutal honesty is NOT how we want to give…or receive feedback!

This week the lesson that has popped up ALL week long is from “AntiHero”, by the TSwift.

It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s meAt tea time, everybody agreesI’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirrorIt must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

I’ve been replaying these lyrics in my mind all week…and it baffles me that self-awareness isn’t a cornerstone of every leadership training program out there. Team members and leaders who can openly acknowledge their own shortcomings set the example for a culture of humility and ongoing learning among their teams and colleagues. It builds an environment where it’s okay to fess up to mistakes and learn from them. However, if you’re in a place where no one seems able to admit they’ve dropped the ball, it will impact the culture, eroding trust and fostering resentment. And when things hit the fan, that reluctance to own up could seriously hinder open, honest communication.

If the expectation is that leaders should step back from the spotlight in times of success but step up in challenging times, shouldn’t this principle be practiced consistently?

Is an unwillingness to accept fault based on a lack of confidence or fear of consequence?

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Being able to acknowledge that you don’t know everything and are willing to reset, regroup, and try again is crucial in education. Every situation and student (or staff member!) is different. They are coming to the table with different experiences and therefore, a different lens.

Just because you are in charge doesn’t mean you always get it right.

When a team member consistently refuses to acknowledge their mistakes, it can diminish both trust and respect. People tend to follow leaders who are honest and transparent about their shortcomings, as it makes them more relatable and trustworthy. By openly acknowledging mistakes, you’ll model a growth mindset and resilience. This behavior encourages others to admit and learn from their errors, fostering a culture where learning from failure is not just accepted but encouraged. It demonstrates that making mistakes is a natural part of the learning process, not something to be ashamed of.

Acknowledging mistakes is the first step toward correcting them and preventing similar issues in the future…which your team needs to hear.

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The phrase “I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror” suggests that while you’ll take on other people’s issues, and be willing to tackle tough challenges with others, but aren’t so willing to do so when you are the one making the mistake. Growth as a leader means you have to be willing to check in with yourself as well. I know that ego plays a part in this, and am willing to acknowledge several times that it’s gotten me tangled up as well. I think transitioning from a position where I felt confident in what I was doing to a completely different “lane” of education has allowed me quite regularly to admit that I need help and support. Balancing that with the confidence of leadership feels awfully antihero.

It’s not just about steering the ship with a steady hand; it’s also about being brave enough to admit when we’ve hit rough waters because of our own doing. This journey of self-reflection and acknowledgment isn’t just for the brave or pop singer—it’s for every leader/team member aspiring to foster an environment of trust, risk-taking, and innovation.

Here’s to embracing our inner anti-heroes, learning from our missteps, and leading with a mix of confidence and humility. Can’t wait to see where next week’s lyrics will take us!

Staring at the mirror &

Swift Lessons in Leadership through Lyrics: The Fine Line Between Honesty and Cruelty”

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Listen. I fully appreciate the middle aged-ness of myself. Truly. However, this blog is about being TRANSPARENT as well, right? Not only am I a “seasoned” leader…I also might be have watched the “Eras” tour an OBNOXIOUS amount of times since it has come out.

It’s the perfect thing to have playing in the background while I cook, clean or… scroll. And if you know me, you know I’m not that great at cooking or cleaning. (I like to think it’s ok because at least I am cute and funny…but MT says I’m not that funny. Sigh.)

Anyhoo…I’ve noticed here lately that there are some powerful lyrics that keep getting stuck in my head from Ms. Swift. And the application from them to my leadership experiences just can’t be denied, even I wanted to pretend to not be all Swift’sessed. For those who associate her with pop sugar and bouncy are in for a treat.

First up…in “All Too Well”, we have this gem:

“And you call me up again just to break me like a promiseSo casually cruel in the name of being honestI’m a crumpled up piece of paper lying here..”

Causally cruel. In the name of being honest.

We hear, frequently, that honesty and transparency in leadership is crucial. A necessary trait. Sometimes though, that honesty can be wielded like a sword. The person swinging that sword has the force field of being right, regardless of how deep it cuts.

Not seeing how it could apply?

I’ve written a lot about #thefirstyear, and all the things as a principal I’d gotten wrong and the adjustments I made thanks to the team around me. How though, did I know, how tragically terrible it was going?

I was on my way out to a meeting when I was pulled aside by members of my “team”.  They asked me to sit in one of their offices, while the two of them broke the news. They had finally been compelled “in the name of being honest” to share information I needed to know.

The staff was unhappy. They were looking to leave. The scores and culture on the campus I’d been honored enough to be asked to lead was falling apart, because of me. Because of my leadership.

I was devastated.

But I was also confused. I managed to maintain composure and ask. Who? Who wanted to leave? What? What exactly had I done?

Well…they couldn’t tell me that. Couldn’t. Wouldn’t.

I vividly remember asking, “So what I am hearing is that I am a terrible principal…but you have nothing to offer in how I can get better? Or to change what I am doing?” They didn’t.

I can’t even articulate how devastating it is to not only hear that you’re a failure, but also that there wasn’t anything you could do about it. From people you thought were also on your “team”.

It was a pivotal moment in my principal’ing experience. If you’ve read this from ASCD, you know it didn’t get better right away. But, it did get better. It actually got a lot better before I left 6 years later.

I never forgot, however, how cutting that conversation was, even in all its rightness.

Telling someone they are terrible doesn’t help them get any better.

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What is the goal in “brutal honesty”? Does it set the receiver up to improve? Isn’t that the purpose of feedback? Surely it’s not just for the satisfaction of the person giving it?

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I used to tell my staff to always remember when talking to parents about a concern to always remember that the student you are so worked up over, for whatever reason, is most likely the most important thing in someone else’s world. If you go guns in blazing, no matter how right you are, you aren’t going to be heard.

You can be right all day long and lose every relationship you have.

So today’s lesson is this…worry less about being so honest, and care more about the relationship. YOu can, believe it or not, do both.

Swift singing &

Embracing Humility: Learning from Unexpected Sources

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When I talk about this space and what I share, I am always quick to mention that it is primarily a place where I share what I got wrong and my reflections on the experience in hopes that others could learn from it.

I’ve even blogged about my lack of experience in new professional settings…especially that first year, all the things I got wrong…or this gem from 2017 (lil’baby leader Amber!)

I was reminded this past week, even in all my glorious middle ageness that I STILL have so much to learn and how open I need to be to the possibility of just being…wrong. I had the opportunity to be the opening keynote for an Opal EdTech/EduAcademic event that was held in Orlando. Orlando…where I can get a DOLE WHIP? In.

Orlando is also where one George Couros lives. George often refers to himself as my big brother in this edtech/leadership space. 13 years ago we connected and it has been years of banter, fights, and political punches. I adore his family and he has been a huge cheerleader for my beast in her early education endeavors.

George is also the person (other than MT) whose feedback I am most sensitive/resistant to. I, of course, blame him because of his directness and lack of empathy when delivering any of his hot sports opinions on what I’ve shared or written.

So when he asked if he could come to hear me speak, I immediately said no.

I was ADAMANT that any feedback he was going to give me would be hypercritical and it would make me so self-conscious…why would I want to invite that panic into my head? George speaks to massive audiences ALL the time, literally, weekly…I do it 4-5 times a year. I didn’t want to hear how…not George…+ I was. Of course, I caved, and “allowed” him to come.
Thankfully, the evening went well and I didn’t fall down. 🙂

Ya’ll. His feedback was sincere, purposeful, and beneficial. The suggestions he provided, which were about what I could have further emphasized or made more impactful, proved to be incredibly helpful. The way he recommended connecting with the audience at the end will genuinely change how I close moving forward.

All that to say…man, was I wrong…AGAIN.

(which is just so annoying! That makes George right…again.)

What is the resistance to being better? How big is my ego that I can’t accept hearing what could potentially be true and helpful, just b/c I am scared of it being critical? How often do I miss an opportunity to be better… just because?

Why do I resist having confidence not in my knowledge, but in my ability to learn? 

One of my purposes in education is to help others be more than they think they already are, and sometimes that means DIRECT FEEDBACK. And yet…am I willing? Do I come across as willing?

Such the hypocrite I can be…

George wrote a fantastic blog about the ability to soak up the greatness of those around you. Give it a read. Don’t be like me, be open to hearing how you could be better …even if it’s not delivered in a pretty complimentary package with a bow. 😉

I hope you have people in your life who challenge you, not for the sake of them being right, but for the sake of making you better. And may you always be willing to let them.

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Begrudgingly better &

Amber

Videos to support leadership learning…and why you shouldn’t stop!

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Hiya stranger friends!

I’m working to build a repository of “leadership” supports for my team that meets all the varied modalities of learning that they may have. I love to read but maybe a podcast floats their boat…or maybe they want a one-pager to reference in moments of “uh oh”. Whatever it is, I’m starting with videos. Whether you’re a new principal, a seasoned district administrator, or somewhere in between, there are always lessons to absorb!

Authentic leaders never stop growing.

For those starting as campus leaders, Yale’s “Connected Leadership” offers research on aligning your actions with your values. As an administrator, it’s crucial to embody the traits you aim to instill in students and staff. I’ve found that leading by example and practicing what I preach as an educator builds trust and buy-in across the school community. You can also register for a FREE course from IUBM on “Developing Interpersonal Skills” if you want to hang up a gold star once you ace it, 😉

Every one of us has those inner critics who ask for more, better, and always!

For my middle-of-the-pack people, Brené Brown’s “Daring Leadership” is a must-watch. With her signature blend of research and storytelling, Brown advocates for a paradigm shift from armored to daring leadership. Leadership is not about being in charge. Leadership is about taking care of people. Her talk is a great reminder to stay grounded in authenticity and vulnerability even as our responsibilities grow. Want that gold star? You can pick up concrete engagement strategies from the University of Michigan’s “Leading People and Teams short course. Their segments on thoughtful feedback models have strengthened my ability to motivate faculty and tease out opportunities for talent development. Practicing active listening, asking coaching questions, and setting clear expectations with those around me have led to increased collaboration and job satisfaction. (on both our parts!)

It’s YOUR job to develop psychologically safe spaces for a foundation of efficient teamwork.

Finally, all the ones who have been doing this thing we call leadership for longer than we thought we ever could, the Open University’s talk on “Leadership: External Context and Culture” provides some hard-won wisdom. Having navigated major organizational changes, the speakers share how to drive complex initiatives by understanding your unique institutional history and landscape. Their advice has me reflecting on how to better frame change narratives (both within and without out of our control!) to unify stakeholders in our district. John Maxwell’s video “The 5 Levels of Leadership.” is another great one. Maxwell draws on his decades of leadership consulting to outline his framework moving from Position, to Permission, to Production, to People Development, and finally to Pinnacle. Regardless of your years of experience, his seasoned insights will have you reflecting on ways to guide your team to the next level.

 

As we know, trying to lead in the challenging educational system hasn’t gotten any easier. We’re also smart enough to know it never will. There are no silver bullets, and if it were simple, everyone would do it. In any given moment we can decide how to perceive our reality. And depending on our choice and attitude, we are more or less likely to overcome challenges and be successful. When you feel overwhelmed, remember we all struggle to get it all done. Keep leaning on your teams, focus on your “why,” and lead with the heart that made ya want to do it in the first place… Our students and schools need us now more than ever!

 

Learning while leading &

ChatGPT takes on Thanksgiving: Use AI for meals and more!

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I’ve told you before that I think ChatGPT cuts my anxiety thinking down…I use it every darn day, ya’ll! What are the ways I am going to use it for this Thanksgiving??

  1. Recipe Ideas: Ask ChatGPT for unique Thanksgiving recipes to impress your family with a twist on the traditional turkey, stuffing, or pumpkin pie.
  2. Thanksgiving Trivia: Challenge your friends with Thanksgiving-themed trivia questions generated by ChatGPT and see who knows the most about the holiday’s history and fun facts.
  3. Gratitude Prompts: Use ChatGPT to come up with creative prompts for your family to share what they’re thankful for this year.
  4. Table Games: Get ChatGPT to create a Thanksgiving-themed word search or crossword puzzle that you can print out for everyone to play together.
  5. Turkey Talk: Have ChatGPT write a funny monologue from the turkey’s point of view about Thanksgiving to share a laugh with everyone.
  6. Decoration DIYs: Ask ChatGPT for easy DIY Thanksgiving decoration ideas that you can make with simple items around the house.
  7. Thanksgiving Jokes: Lighten up the mood by sharing Thanksgiving jokes or puns from ChatGPT with your dinner guests.
  8. Personalized Stories: Create a custom Thanksgiving story featuring your family members as characters with the help of ChatGPT, and read it aloud for some holiday entertainment.

What about meal prep and meal planning?

  1. Meal Planning Assistant: ChatGPT can help you plan your Thanksgiving menu, taking into account different dietary preferences and restrictions to ensure everyone at your table has something delicious to enjoy.
  2. Grocery List Generator: Share with ChatGPT the dishes you plan to prepare, and it can generate a detailed shopping list, helping you get organized before heading to the grocery store.

  3. Cooking Timeline Scheduler: Tell ChatGPT what dishes you’re preparing, and it can create a cooking schedule for you. This way, you’ll know exactly when to start each dish so that everything is ready to be served hot at the same time.

  4. Leftover Magic: Ask ChatGPT for creative recipes to reinvent your Thanksgiving leftovers, turning them into exciting new meals for the weekend.
  5. Dish Pairing: If you’re considering wine or beverage pairings, ChatGPT can suggest which drinks would complement the flavors of your Thanksgiving dishes perfectly.

And if you’re going to be the hostess with the mostest?

  1. Family Favorites Poll: Use ChatGPT to create a poll of potential dishes and let your family vote on what they’d like to see on the Thanksgiving table. It’s a great way to make everyone feel included in the meal planning.
  2. Task Delegator: Ask ChatGPT to help you delegate tasks by creating a list of “Who’s Doing What” for Thanksgiving prep, so every family member can contribute according to their abilities and preferences.
  3. Peacekeeper Tips: ChatGPT can offer advice on how to manage any family tensions that might arise. From conversation starters to steer away from sensitive topics, to fun group activities that can lighten the mood. (Politics Panic Prevention!!)
  4. Thanksgiving Playlists: Let ChatGPT help you put together a family-friendly playlist to set the mood for cooking, eating, and enjoying each other’s company. You can ask it to take into account ages, popular songs, or certain genres!

Telling ya…the uses are ENDLESS!! Have you dove into the AI waters?? Tell me how!

 

Gobble gobbleN &

Amber

 

Seen my other ChatGPT posts?

ChatGPT resources for educators- a round up!

Chat GPT for the, ahem, middle aged, professional…